Here Comes The Sun

Just released is a newly updated digital mix of the Beatles classic Here Comes The Sun.

Appropriately timed we might add.

The Beatles – Here Comes The Sun – 2019

Simple and beautiful.

I’ll fly away

Growing up in Appalachia , this tune is one I know from childhood.

I consider life a gift from a power, essence or spirit that I don’t understand. Part of that gift is that I don’t have to understand where the gift comes from. I get to experience the love and beauty without ever feeling in debt to do or return anything.

As I wasn’t here before my life, I will not be here after it. I will physically be gone from here and now, but not necessarily gone from what we understand to be a universe.  I don’t need to know anything more than that.

When I die I wish to be cremated. I wish for my ashes to be discretely dropped on a specific hillside above the sea on a nearby Southern California Island known as Catalina. No one is to know, but the couple of close loved ones who accidentally drop my ashes there, exactly where this spot is. As my ashes are dropped, they will start to fly out over the land and the sea. Those that find the land their home will continue to both blow into the wind as well as meld into the earth eventually eroding their way into air and the nearby sea as well.

Therefore my body and my spirit shall fly away, wash away and float away. I’ll still be here and there. I’ll be wherever I’m supposed to be.

Rising Appalachia – I’ll Fly Away – traditional live – 2012

Simple and beautiful, enjoy.

Note: If those whom I love and love me wish to gather for any type of memorial after I am gone, they are free to do so in any fashion just as long as it’s fun, celebratory, simple and this traditional Appalachian folk tune is played.

Imagine

Imagine peace.

Imagine love.

Imagine respect.

Imagine passion.

Imagine empathy.

Imagine happiness.

Imagine beauty.

Imagine kindness.

Imagine forgiveness.

Imagine understanding.

Imagine harmony.

Imagine hope.

Imagine joy.

Wow just wow. This guy is phenomenal. Even more phenomenal than just that beard. Brought me to tears.

Chris Klafford – Imagine – 2019 – America’s Got Talent

Loving oneself

Growing up gay ain’t easy. Growing up gay the first things I learned is that I was wrong.

I was wrong for being scared the ball would hit me. I was wrong for twirling the baton. I was wrong for wanting to take dance lessons. I was wrong for having a knack for color and redecorating my room over and over. I was wrong for being in the band and wanting to be the drum major …right up front. I was wrong for knowing the answers and being a good student. I was wrong for crushing on boys. I was wrong for just wanting to hang out with girls playing mystery date and gossiping. I was wrong for simply being me.

I learned to hate myself. I learned to hide myself. I learned to lie. I learned to loathe, loathe myself. I learned that I should try to be something I wasn’t.

Luckily I found a way to appreciate who and what I was. Luckily I learned it was ok to be gay. Luckily I got on my feet before I harmed myself in any permanent way.

However the scars remain.

It was those individuals before me that took a stand and they cleared a path. A path that I could follow to live better. I could learn to accept myself and one day love myself. I could learn and allow those scars to become strength.

However it isn’t easy.

It doesn’t have to be easy. I just must remember to keep moving forward and to love myself. To keep moving forward and broaden the path for others behind me.

Pride month isn’t about flagrant narcissistic pride. Pride month is about loving yourself and loving others. Loving yourself for being simply who you are and loving others for simply being who they are.

Oh…and I must remember that I am enough.

Learn to Fly

Connection:

Life:

Connection enriches life. Life connects us. We are sharing a common experience right now. We learn, love, teach, understand, support, share, laugh, cry, hold, grow and feel.

We…

Feel.

I pause to feel. I pause to experience. I pause to connect. I pause to…

Wow, just beautifully fucking powerful wow.

May I learn to fly today, today right where I am.

…and may I have a sense of humor that I might not take myself too seriously…

Life, let’s live it …and together may we have a fabulous day.

Beacons

Lighthouses serve both as a warning for hidden hazards laying just beneath a surface and as an indicator that a safe harbor awaits beyond.

Throughout life I have noticed beacons which helped me avoid the unseen, yet often due to various circumstances I overlooked a warning and found myself stranded on the rocks.

I am human, I am fallible.

However in each unfortunate circumstance when I have missed the warnings, or ignored them, I have found a safe harbor nearby.

In that safe harbor I can pause, reflect, heal, learn and grow.

Often it’s nothing specific that causes me to loose sight of the beacon ahead.

Life is. Life is busy. Life is distracting. Life is confusing. Life is exhilarating. Life is overwhelming. Life is fun. Life is troubling. Life is good. Life is hard. Life is sad. Life is hilarious. Life is love. Life is experience. Life is rewarding. Life is disappointing. Life is experiences. Life is unexpected. Life is unexplainable. Life is laughter. Life is imperfect. Life is. Life is. Life is.

My dear 17 year old Mitzi, our 5 pound chihuahua/poodle mix, is facing her next horizon. A horizon in which I can no longer watch her nor protect her. Each day with her has been a blessing from a power of love beyond any power that I can create. Each moment left is a treasure that I am grateful for. When her moment of transition arrives, I pray that I can set her free feeling the love that she, and her creator, blessed me with for all these years and continue to feel her love that will be with me always.

There are many hazards in the waters surrounding me at this time I my life. Some I am aware of, others I am/was blind to. I commit to learning to first forgive myself for my shortcomings and to open my eyes to the blessings, the beacons, the love, the gift of my life.

I commit to heal, to learn, to grow and to accept my imperfections.

The post I was going to do, but decided not to write

Ok I’ll admit it. I am sick at home with a bad cold and can’t work. Thus yesterday I found myself watching the Cohen testimony between naps and coughing. You, my dear reader, can attest to that fact due to the suddenly overwhelming flurry of posted videos. I obviously wasn’t amused but infuriated by the shenanigans. Necessary shenanigans they were.

So this morning I posted Hail Satan? The Documentary. I did so for a reason. The Satanic Temple seems to actually be practicing the principals of ‘Christianity’ better than most ‘Christians’ I see in the press theses days. The Satanic Temple also seems to value truth and our U.S. constitution better than the ‘Christians’ I typically see in the press of recent . (Before anyone gets their panties all tied up in a bunch please note that I didn’t say “all” but I said “in the press” when referring to ‘Christians’.)

Just an observation and a frank opinion of mine at the moment. Under the influence of cold meds? Yes. Delusional? No.

My disclaimer is this:

While I believe that there is a greater power than me which gives me the spark of life and also helps guide me (if I choose to let it), I am not a ‘Christian’ nor am I a Satanist. My Higher Power or God  or Allah or Christ or Satan or Flying Spaghetti Monster, is my business and not anyone elses’. It is also not appropriate for me to push my personal beliefs about any deity of my own preference upon you or anyone.

Now having said all of that I’ll get to the post I was going to do, but decided not to write.

While watching yesterday’s necessary shenanigans, I couldn’t help but to think of the blind followers of a certain Mr. Hitler of Germany back in the 1930’s & 1940’s. Those thoughts immediately took me to a favorite musical of mine. That musical? Cabaret of corse. After all I am a 50 something homosexual and the lead is played by none other than Hollywood legend Judy Garland’s fabulous daughter Liza Manelli. Besides what other musical so boldly depicts a homosexual couple carefully maneuvering their way through a political minefield of hate, bigotry, mind control, deceit and selfishness?

So this morning I was going to snarkily just drop the video of the blonde German boy singing Tomorrow Belongs To Me right here on this here internets blogy thingy. You know just as a political statement. Therefore I popped over onto YouTube to copy a URL to post here for your viewing pleasure, and also for your own mind expanding contemplation about the blind following a false prophet onto a path of darkness and corruption.

I had thought this through and was simply going to post with it a few short words about history. Something like: “History often repeats itself. However if we learn from history can we make new choices? New and better choices so it possibly doesn’t repeat with the same outcome?”

This Post was going to be good. A real thought provoker. You know, clarity through simplicity. Hell maybe it would even go viral and suddenly I would be hearalded as new voice. A voice to be heard. My 15 minutes were just about to happen. I mean I could feel it.

Then while previewing the video of that blonde German boy singing my eyes drifted to the comments.

Bubble burst.

From the comments it seems that this climactic scene from an anti-Nazi 1970s film, starring none other than Liza Minnelli and having a homosexual subplot, is becoming an anthem for today’s populist (read: selfish, self centered, hate filled) movement. The very song that is directly pointing to the fallacy of a blind following is being heralded by those very same blind individuals as a call to action.

The fucking irony.

Whole Hearted

Living. Living life to the fullest.

Experiencing, learning, growing, loving, giving, sharing, teaching, risking…

Those who put themselves out there, those who risk, live.

I believe that those who expose themselves for who they really are, those who allow themselves to be vulnerable, live. They live life to the fullest. They live life with a whole heart.

Hearts were meant to be broken or else they wouldn’t break. Love.

Gifts were meant to be given and shared because if they were selfishly hoarded they wouldn’t be gifts, but would be burdens. Give.

Lessons and experiences only have value to enrich others when taught. Teach.

If one isn’t growing, one is dying. Grow.

Without risk there is nothing. Risk.

Will there be pain? Yes

Will there be joy? Yes

If we couldn’t feel pain, we wouldn’t feel joy. Feel.

To get to the other side of anything, we must walk through it. Experience.

My brain thinks. My heart loves, my heart gives, my heart shares, my heart teaches, my heart experiences, my heart risks, my heart feels, my heart grows, my heart lives!

I choose to live whole heartedly from this moment on. To live, live with my whole heart.

Turtles all the way down

Challenge religion, broaden horizons, keep an open mind, believe in love.

Sturgill Simpson – Turtles all the way down-

I’ve seen Jesus play with flames in a lake of fire that I was standing in
Met the devil in Seattle and spent 9 months inside the lion’s den
Met Buddha yet another time and he showed me a glowing light within
But I swear that God is there every time I glare in the eyes of my best friend
Says my son it’s all been done and someday your gonna wake up old and gray
So go and try to have some fun showing warmth to everyone
You meet and greet and cheat along the way
There’s a gateway in our mind that leads somewhere out there beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light cut you open and pull out all your pain
Tell me how you make illegal something that we all make in our brain
Some say you might go crazy but then again it might make you go sane
Every time I take a look inside inside that old and fabled book
I’m blinded and reminded of the pain caused by some old man in the sky
Marijuana, LSD, Psilocybin, and DMT
They all changed the way I see
But love’s the only thing that ever saved my life
So don’t waste your mind on nursery rhymes
Or fairy tales of blood and wine
It’s turtles all the way down the line
So to each their own til’ we go home
To other realms our souls must roam
To and through the myth that we all call space and time

Welcome here

Have a beard? Welcome here.

Don’t have a beard? Welcome here.

Black? Brown? White? Colorful? Colorless? Any spectrum? Welcome here.

Religious? Non-believer? God? Buddha? Allah? Flying Spaghetti Monster? Satan? No one? Higher Power? Universe? Welcome here.

Citizen? Alien? Traveler? Migrant? Resident? Refugee? Welcome here.

Politcal? Apolitical? Independent? Party Affiliated? Non-Affiliated? Welcome here.

Female? Transgender? Male? Undecided? Welcome here.

Sexual? Asexual? Fetishist? Puritan? Curious? Hetero? Homo? Bi? Welcome here.

Lonely? Popular? Outcast? Poor? Rich? Disadvantaged? Advantaged? Welcome here.

Need help? Welcome here.

Helpful? Welcome here.

Tired? Welcome here.

Giving? Servant? Selfless? Welcome here.

Respectful? Welcome here.

Today’s Word

Fearsome feels that at times we should contemplate words we know and dig a little deeper. Therefore an occasional entry from this day forward will be titled Today’s Word.

These entries will ask the reader to take a moment to contemplate and go deeper into the meanings of a word, or even a feeling, in each readers own life. Most often a term of everyday vocabulary. Fearsome feels that sometimes a deeper understanding of meaning may be as beneficial, or maybe even more so, than an expanded lexicon.

So without further delay, let’s get this party started!

Half Full

I’m a half full kinda guy.

Whats your leaning? Glass half full? Glass half empty?

Yesterday I was listening to an interview of Shawn Achor when I heard him say that it doesn’t really matter which angle you have on the subject, just as long as you know how to get what you need to fill your glass.

Chew on that one for a minute.

Cher has always been able to fill my glass.

Belonging

Does a need to belong keep me from living life?

I live my life out there yet to some degree or another I’ve always had a yearning for acceptance at some level. I’ve found that a desire for acceptance will sometimes inhibit me. Inhibit my expression in order to conform.

I have a hunch that others around might on occasion have a similar feeling.

What I’ve learned, that I don’t always practice, is to just get out there. I must remind myself to go out and live. Express without hesitation. Look for similarities. Share and enjoy love, life and laughter.

Naysayers may shake their head. I say let them. Who knows, maybe I’ll inspire them.

Don’t conform.

Find a tribe.

Resonate.

Be accepted.

Belong.

Best. Music. Video. Ever.

Blind Melon – No Rain

I can.

I can listen.

I can feel.

I can empathize.

I can forgive.

I can love.

I can better.

I can support.

I can speak.

I can share.

I can march.

I can serve.

I can donate.

I can understand.

I can be honest.

I can value.

I can cry.

I can change.

I can make a difference.

I can laugh.

I can hold.

I can stand.

I can challenge.

I can question.

I can grow.

I can learn.

I can vote.

I can improve.

I can volunteer.

I can protect.

I can hope.

I can believe.

I can teach.

I can lead.

I can follow.

I can act.

I can be.

I can.