I’m somehow on a roll of posts that throw back to the first month of Fearsome Beard.
We first posted about this song HERE .
Bronski Beat / Jimmy Somerville’s Smalltown Boy gets right to the deeply rooted feelings of rejection and misunderstanding of my youth. As was in my first post, I realized I wasn’t as rejected as others I knew. However I knew that feeling and it tore, and still tears, at my soul. The very core of my being, love, was wrong according to the family, friends and society to which I was supposed to belong. It was isolating and lonely.
One of my recent musical interest has been the incredibly talented Orville Peck. My mouth literally dropped open when I opened my YouTube feed this morning and saw this cover. I couldn’t click play fast enough. I then stopped my morning routine to post it here on Fearsome’s blog.
Orville Peck – Smalltown Boy – 2020
Thank you Orville for covering and bringing new life to one of the most significant pieces of music of my life. Beautiful!
Is it possible to cry as one dances in the middle of a crowded dance floor? Yes.
John was the newly hired director of the newly established AIDS Foundation in my hometown. He was a handsome eligible bachelor, I was “on break” from my first lover relationship. He had invited me over to his place as we were on our first date and he was cooking for us. After he poured me a drink, he clicked on the stereo as we sat down on his sofa.
“This is the new release from Bronski beat” he said as I deeply inhaled the nostalgic antique smell of the large living room of his apartment on the second floor of a stunning old gingerbread Victorian home. I wasn’t yet familiar with Bronski Beat much less Jimmy Somerville. Jimmy’s voice enveloped us with a trancelike vibration. I was hooked even before the rhythms kicked in a couple minutes later. I remember wiping tears from my cheek as I listened to the lyrics that I understood all too well. John embraced me and I realized I wasn’t alone in my feelings.
Bronski Beat – Smalltown Boy – 1984
Above is the 12” extended mix that we danced many a night to in the clubs, below is the original 1984 video depicting the chilling story from the lyrics.
I don’t know what became of John. He sure was handsome. It was a confusing and scary time. We didn’t yet know how gay men were contracting AIDS and or who was going to be next. At that time it wasn’t if but when. AIDS in the 1980s was a death sentence and the deaths were miserably horrible experiences to live through. He was busy trying to set up the floundering new foundation to help area victims. I was young, scared and immature so I went back to the safety of my known lover. John continued his work and we drifted apart. However the memory is cherished.