Six years

Six years ago today I woke up a broken man. A man that didn’t yet know that he was about to go 2192 days without a hangover. A man that had no idea what lied ahead only that I could no longer live as I had been living.

Today I woke up and received this six year token for living six full years of uninterrupted reality. I am humbled.

May tomorrow be day 2193.

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Presidential

LBJ

LBJ led this country through a turbulent time helping us to become a higher, better society. May we find inspiration in those who strive for justice, compassion and equality. May our society again soon recognize the value of true leaders, leaders who challenge us to grow, improve, serve, understand and respect.

“Bigotry or White supremacy, in any form, is blasphemy against the American creed” …George W. Bush

Fearsome and I hereby express our gratitude to our 43rd President for standing up and speaking out. It’s about time that leaders, current and past, of our country say something. There is a point of silence at which they become complicit and will therefore be just as guilty as the perpetrators of the crime.

Kudos George W. Bush for speaking out today. May his inspiration lead others to step in line behind true American values. The moral ground of our democracy is at stake.

If you haven’t watched or heard this speech do yourself a favor and hit play. It’s worth your time no matter what your political affiliation.

National Coming Out Day October 11, 2017

Today is National Coming Out Day. Given that due to the threats on the first amendment to the US Constitution by a certain current administration I understand and felt the need to post Eminem’s political statement, I must balance him with a proper Dianna Ross classic as well.

Eminem has a sordid history with the gay community of which I belong. His tainted past of somewhat homophobic lyrics has been offensive at times, to say yes very least. I am in no way defending those lyrics. His intensely strong message posted here today defends all of us in our right to free speech. Without Amendment 1, National Coming Out Day might very well be silenced.

What am I saying?

I am saying at times we must stand with those whom we have had differences and focus on our commonalities to strive towards a greater good. In the process we may also change minds, create better understanding and grow stronger bonds.

Happy Coming Out Day! Let us celebrate our individuality while finding our similarities and standing together for our common good.

Eminem

….. intense

First Amendment to the Contitution of the United States of America 1789: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment 1 stands today. Protect it.

Saturday reflection

Emotions, feelings, anger, dismay and confusion swirl. What a week.

Monday morning. Dammit, not again.

Tuesday. What the fuck?

Wednesday. Talk about it now. Not later, now.

Thursday. Fatigue sets in.

Friday afternoon. Fuck you. No, seriously Fuck You!

You see in light of all the serious matters needing the attention of our government this week, the  elf in charge of the department of justice issued a sweeping federal directive stating that it is perfectly ok for anyone to discriminate against me if they claim a deeply held religious belief. Oh, and let us not miss that fact that Thursday availability of contraception took a hit. A big hit.

The women and the fags both got hit in wake of Puerto Rico and Las Vegas.

Ok, it’s true that most of my life I’ve already been subject to discrimination. I’m kind of used to it. I’m a fag and have been for more than 50 years. I’ve been taunted, teased, bullied and beaten as long as I can remember for being different. A sissy, fag, queer, gay, unfit, pervert, girly boy, dirty, disgusting, nellie, queen, cock sucker, fairy, fruit, pansy, faggot, homosexual, sodomite, poofter, light in the loafers, homo. A real non-entity. Hell I’m even a loud proud real non-entity.

So a directive, directed square at me. I’m not surprised. Weasels (read cowards) always wait until everyone is distracted to do their dirty work.

Women need access to contraception. Faggots deserve equality. Seems as if neither of us have either. Women are as equal to white straight men as us queers are, and that means they ain’t.

This queen stands with Latinos, emigrants, blacks, Jews, women, Muslims, queers, disabled, transsexuals, Asians, Africans, native Americans, middle eastern, atheist, pastafarians, documented, un-documented, dreamers, poor, forgotten, addicted, needy, sick, unemployed. I stand with our planet, our environment.

The question is do all y’all stand with me?

Directives that discriminate against me? Seen them, lived them and will stand up to and against them. I’ve already been around this block numerous times.

Discrimination in the name of a religion destroys a society. We had made good progress. We can make more. Don’t become complacent nor complicit. Say something. Stand for your morals and your ethics. Stand for your truth.

The Stonewall Inn circa 1969, the calm before the storm.

Hero

Carmen Yulín Cruz, Mayor of San Juan Puerto Rico (United States of America for those who skipped class during geography and American History.)

The Oxford English Dictionary defines Hero as:

noun:  A person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

Carmen Yulín Cruz is a Hero. Carmen Yulín Cruz is a leader. Fearsome applauds her for taking ownership of the title given to her by a certain President.

Good people

Good people with good values and respectable morals step up to the plate.

When Washington fails it’s own American people we must pick up the slack. Looks like our LGBT celebrities know just how to start.

Toe Tappin’ Tune

This’ll get our weekend started!

1984 Jocelyn Brown Somebody Else’s Guy

1984…I couldn’t even legally buy liquor. My friend Kiki kept asking me to shave off young Fearsome because she liked my chin. I could be found every Friday, Saturday and Sunday evening on the dance floor at my local gay disco, The Park. I was in an on and off again relationship with my first lover (usually off was with “somebody’s else’s” guy…sometimes the “somebody else” was another guy and sometimes a woman). I was an aerobics instructor and I made my first ever trip to Ft. Lauderdale Florida.

While criusing the A1A along the beach in Ft Lauderdale and listening to this very tune, in a black T-Top Trans Am mind you, I remember looking at the ocean front condo buildings thinking “My, those people must be rich”. Today we own a couple of those very condos.

Dreams, they really do come true.

The tune still makes me dance. Enjoy!

Living

However blissful the daydream we entertain, we must wake from it sometimes and struggle with the hard conditions of real living.”  …Dorothea Brande

Dreaming is good and daydreaming an escape. However reality is, that life is real. I need the dream to help me see outside of my reality. My dreams help me set goals. I can’t live nor make a life by sitting in a dreamland state. I must work, experience, grow, strive, move, produce, contact, connect, learn and if I fall I must get back up.

No one can live for me. I can only live my life.

Life is fun, but life is work.

Today I contemplate the joy of life that is known as work, struggle, reality and accomplishment.

Dark Tunnels

It happens.

The tunnel, it surrounds.

Many years ago it was overwhelming and I couldn’t deal with it. The tunnel would encompass my being, my consciousness and shut my life down.

These days it’s passing, fleeting. I feel it. It’s like pressure surrounding my head. Vision impairs and I can’t hold my head up. Then it passes as quickly as it came over me.

I don’t know exactly how I switched it a number of years ago. I do remember the year, 2006. I woke up and realized that it had been gone for awhile and without my anti-depressants as I had forgetten to take them. It just wasn’t there. I was ok and I was of meds. I somehow had switched.

Since the the darkness of the tunnel has re-appeared, as it has today, but fleetingly. I’m glad it’s no longer paralyzing.

I know that in 2006 I decided to live for the future and not wallow in the past. I believe that’s what helped facilitate my change.

Today I hold my head up.

Argent – Hold Your Head Up – The Midnight Special 1973