Travelous interrupterous

So I land in Dulles for a short layover on way to Ft. Lauderdale. When I turn my phone on it explodes with texts asking if I am ok. It seems that this happened…

5 dead and 8 injured at Delta baggage claim in Ft. Lauderdale airport.

5 dead and 8 injured at Delta baggage claim in Ft. Lauderdale airport.

I should have already boarded my plane to fly there. However the plane that I fly there on is sitting on the tarmac there, full of passengers coming here, waiting to take off. The FTL airport is still closed so who knows when it will take off and when I will get to board it to head there.

While I am having the minor inconvenience of travelous interrupertous (my how spell check hates me when I make up my own words) there are families and friends grieving the loss of the five Delta passengers who died at the hands of a crazy man and eight others injured in the hospital. I pray for them. Yes I do pray.

It seems that the gunman had just flown in on a Delta flight, picked up his bag from the luggage carousel, retrieved the gun from his checked bag and opened fire. Seriously. Crazy lives amoung us. Sorry folks but that is horrible. Innocent travelers possibly on their way to a vacation of their dreams, coming home, visiting friends & family, working on a business trip, returning from a deployment overseas or maybe even going on a honeymoon …dead at the luggage carousel because some crazy asshole fucker had a gun in his checked bag.

A fucking gun in a fucking checked bag on a fucking airplane.

Soapbox. Yep I stepped on it.

Now I’ll get back off of it.

So several hours late or maybe tomorrow morning I will finally arrive at my destination of Ft. Lauderdale Florida, my second home. I will stand at a luggage carousel waiting for my bag. I will shed tears. I will remember poor souls I never met. I’ll pray for the loved ones in mourning. I’ll feel gratitude that I was not there at that moment. I will be grateful I was spared and had the minor inconvenience of having to wait here at the United Club outside of Washington DC at the Dulles airport.

Tell your loved ones you love them. Tell them now, and tell them often. Stop smell the roses, take time, value the important things and never ever forget the blessing that is this very moment.

Product Review

I’m an apple products kind of guy. I drank the Kool-aid when I traded the old blackberry in for my first iPhone 4 about 6  years ago. Since then I made the complete change over and now have an iPad Air, iPad Pro and a MacBook Pro. Superior products that I find worth the costs.

I was due an upgrade on my iPhone 6 but thought why? The 7 looks the same and I don’t need a better camera and although the water-resistant feature would be nice, I have never damaged an iPhone with liquid.

Then my lightening port gave me an issue so I decided instead of using the insurance which had a deductible, I’d just use the cash molecules for the deductible for an upgrade to the 7.

WOW. Apple does it again. It may look the same but the phone is a surprisingly wonderful upgrade from the 6. From the new home button technology to the sound and the speed this is a well done upgrade.

I didn’t even know I wanted one and  now I’m glad I did. Kudos to Apple. The iPhone 7 is worth it.

Where there is smoke, there is usually fire

Warning:

This post is about men who hold positions of authority who abuse that position and molest young boys.

I have a bias against this man:

Current convicted felon and former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky.

Current convicted felon and former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky.

I have a bias because I was molested by men who held, what I perceived, to be important positions of authority when I was at the impressionable ages of 12-14 years. I have a bias because Mr. Sandusky has been convicted in a court of law. The situations around his case brought back many painful memories. The possible cover up issues that swirl around his case remind me of the cover up that went on around the men who molested me.

To say I have a tender spot around this subject would be an understatement. Just when this had all died down and I thought that the reopening of my wound by the news of this story had subsided, I find this news of Mr. Sandusky’s appeal.

Wounds are reopened again. Does Mr. Sandusky have the right to appeal? Why yes he does, the appeal process is one of the great parts of a fair and just legal system. Do I have the right to my opinion through my own experiences? Why yes I do. Was Mr. Sandusky one of my perpetrators? No. Were his practices and actions similar to my perpetrators? Yes. Can I say for sure he is guilty as convicted by a court? No, I wasn’t witness to his actions nor was I present at his trial. Can I have an opinion that he is guilty as was found in that court of law? Yes I can.

First…Why do I write this? Second…Why do I post about such a tragedy of abuse? Third…Why do I choose to use Mr. Sandusky’s plight to express my hurt, anger and frustration on this subject?

First I will start with the last question: I choose Mr. Sandusky only because he has been convicted in a court of law and is currently serving time as a felon for this crime. I choose him because he opened the can of worms through his choosing to use his right to appeal. I choose him because the descriptions of the situations he put himself in, which are widely known, were all to common with what I myself experienced as a victim of other child molesting men. Should Mr. Sandusky win his appeal and be resolved of all crimes to which he has been accused and convicted regarding his abuse of young impressionable boys, I will amend this post with an update and an apology for using him and his case as post fodder for a subject that obviously affects me deeper than I have given realization.

Back to the first question: I write this because when I saw the news that Mr. Sandusky had filed for appeal I had a visceral reaction. My reaction helped me to realize the depth of the pain I feel to this day from actions inflicted upon me by those obviously self loathing men that molested me. For years I internalized it, justified it and took responsibility for it. Yes took responsibility for it in that I took the blame. I blamed myself for it because I was gay therefore I wanted them to molest me. I took the blame for it in that I was alone and lonely and wanted their approval. I took the blame for it in that I needed them and what they could do to advance me and help me in school.

For that second question: I post about the tragedy that is child sexual abuse because it needs to be talked about. It needs to be said that IT’S NOT OK. It also needs to be said its not ok to cover it up, look the other way and it’s not ok to say nothing. I raise my voice in hopes that one child isn’t molested because my voice helped someone to say something, do something to stop it.

I realize now that as a child, in fact until I was at this very moment, I didn’t have the capacity to step up and take the responsibility to say yes I am one of those boys. I choose to not take responsibility for what those twisted adults did to me, but to take responsibility for speaking out and raising awareness for those who can’t. Those men took my innocence. They took my virginity and exploited it for their selfish adult pleasure.

By writing this I take the first step toward taking it back. The men who molested me, and many others I am sure, are long dead. The ones who aided them by covering it up or simply saying nothing are gone as well. I have no need in opening that pandora’s box.

When a lonely and outcast young boy finds the acceptance of an adult male he is powerless for he yearns for some sort of acceptance, whatever it may be. When that adult takes advantage, the boy (or girl) becomes more powerless. Once violated, the youth is lost in isolated oblivion that can remain a prison for years and sometimes a secret for life. A secret that destroys from within.

Where there is smoke, there isn’t usually a fire, there IS fire. When you see smoke, say something before the fire gets out of control.

 

UPDATE: I realize after posting that in case an individual, male or female, who may find this post who themselves are underage and a victim…You Are Not Alone. Speak up, you deserve help. Realize that by speaking up you are not only helping yourself but those who haven’t the courage to or are the next victims behind you. You have a voice.

Widows

I just killed another one out in the garage. I guess it’s time to bring out the big guns again.

Widows? Yes I kill them. I have absolutely no use for the pesky things. Face it…those damn widows are just a pain in the ass. They jump out of nowhere and scare the bejesus out of you. Always lurking around in dark corners all by themselves. Creepy. Yes widows are just plain creepy beings. I say we rid ourselves of all of them. Southern California seems to attract widows like moths to a flame. I just don’t know where they all come from. Maybe they come over from our neighbor Arizona.

Exterminate the Widows! All of ’em!

Wait, you think I’m talking about someone’s grandma don’t you? Hell no …I love old lady human widows. I’m talking about widow spiders. Why widow spiders are as common around here as fleas on a stray dogs back.

from Wikipedia:

Latrodectus is a genus of spider in the big spider family Theridiidae, most of which are commonly known as widow spiders. The genus contains 31 recognized species[2] distributed worldwide, including the North American black widows (L. mactans, L. hesperus, and L. variolus), the button spiders of Africa, and the Australian redback. Species vary widely in size. In most cases the females are dark-colored and readily identifiable by reddish hourglass-shaped markings on the abdomen.

The venomous bite of these spiders is considered particularly dangerous because of the neurotoxin latrotoxin, which causes the condition latrodectism, both named for the genus. The female black widow has unusually large venom glands and its bite can be particularly harmful to humans. However, despite the genus’ notoriety, Latrodectus bites are rarely fatal. Only female bites are dangerous to humans.

The well known Black Widow

The well known Black Widow

Ok now that I’ve freaked Dr. Spo out I’ll fill you in on a few widow spider tidbits. Above is the most well known Black Widow. In these here parts the Black Widow is actualy rare in comparison to It’s cousin the Brown Widow. I’ve literally gone out to spray the front steps and had up to fifty brown widows gasping for air and convulsing on the stretch of steps from the door to the street in one spraying.

Brown Widow Spider

Brown Widow Spider

The brown widows vary in color from almost black to translucent tan to every shade of brown in between. They all have the classic bright orange to red hour glass marking on their bellies as well as the long jointed leg structure. Both the black and brown are very recognizable spiders as their look is quite unique. Both have virtually identical body structures just different colored slick leather like skin.

Widow spiders are actually very timid beings. They do not come after you. If you disturb their web they run and hide. You rarely actually see one. I know I need to spray when their webs start appearing. Humans and animals are rarely bitten. So while yes they are poisonous, bites are extremely rare. Their bites, while dangerous, are more painful than anything else as they are rarely fatal to humans and most animals. When I do encounter one, they are running away. Widows also do not care for the interior of homes. So while I may have a population explosion outside, in my 24 years in this 96 year old house with all its cracks we have yet to ever encounter even a tale tale sign of one inside.

The widow web is instantly recognizable. They are usually close to the ground. They typically angle down to ground from the foundation, patio furniture, steps or plants. They are an erratic mess of strings that are incredibly sticky.

Sticky erratic Widow web.

Sticky erratic Widow web, usually these are low and between a building or structural plant and the ground.

Often Widow webs will have several of these spiked white egg sacs.

Often Widow webs will have several of these spiked white egg sacs.

Widow Spiders are common throughout many regions. So be aware as they are poisonous but will only bite if cornered and provoked. They are very timid and very scared of you. Learn the web as that’s how you will know if they are in your garden or outdoor buildings.

….Oh and if you are reading this just prior to bedtime, sweet dreams!

 

Damn good

Fearsome is ecstatic. His new Whisker Dam arrived in our mailbox today.

Whisker Dam

Whisker Dam

Fearsome’s mustache has been on the grow of recent. You see after Fearsome’s big trim last fall we decided to return to growth over mistakenly perceived necessity for a conforming conservative look. We also decided to let his mustache grow into its glory as well, with no unnecessary trimming. You know…big beard AND big ‘stache…

Beverage challenging Fearsome 'stache

Beverage challenging Fearsome ‘stache

After stumbling upon the Whisker Dam and reading a couple reviews I decided to treat us to one and see if this thing might really work. We are happy to report that yes the Whisker Dam is a mightly fine product. No more coffee stains all down the front of my shirt. Why we might even dare to wear white again, on occasion, now that we have one of these fabulous thingys.

If you are a hirsute fellow like ourselves, or just a plain old pogoniac, we highly recommend clicking HERE to go over to the Whisker Dam website and pick up one for yourself.

As they say on their website, “It’s like an umbrella for your face”.

Joe.My.God has moved

Fearsome is a long time daily reader of Joe.My.God.

Today Joe moved his blog from Blogger to WordPress. His site address changed and I have taken the liberty of making that change to the link over in Fearsome Buds for your blog reading convenience. If you have a moment click over and check out his new digs.

Giving credit where credit is due… While many bloggers inspired me (Spo, Anne Marie, Eric, Blobby to name only a few) JMG was the first blog I ever read and has obviously inspired me as well.

Thanks Joe!

Fearsome signs a petition

Fearsome is an animal lover.

Fearsome believes that all animals (especially those like himself that have large manes) should be respected and honored, not hunted and killed for sport.

American Dentist from Minneapolis MN pictured with his kill Cecil. Cecil was a revered lion safe in a Zimbanwe nature preserve until he was lured out of the preserve and killed.

American Dentist, Walter James Palmer, from Minneapolis MN pictured with his kill Cecil. Cecil was a revered lion safe in a Zimbanwe nature preserve until he was lured out of the preserve with food and killed.

Currently there is a petition to help extradite this killer to Zimbabwe for the crime he committed. At present he is apparently in hiding. You can add your name to the petition by clicking HERE.

Fearsome and all other endangered species thank you for your support.

Australian Beards Invade the States!

The Beards over at 2-Beards have started their journey across the U.S. And are currently in NYC. If you have a moment, pop over and give ’em a shout to help them get started on their way. Over the next month they will drive from New York to Los Angeles. Along the way sharing their experience as they sample beers, enjoy local cuisine and raise money for Heart Kids back home in Australia. Good Blokes they are!

2-Beards Brett & Luke

2-Beards Brett & Luke

It’s Beard Season

The guys over at 2-Beards (see Fearsome buds and check out their travel site) turned me onto Beard Season.

Beard Season’s purpose is to raise awareness of Melanoma. In case you aren’t fully aware Melanoma is a very deadly cancer. A skin cancer that I have had.

Back in 2004 I went to see my general physician because I was concerned about a mole on my belly just above my navel. I took my shirt off and he looked at it, explained it was a normal benign growth and if I wanted he would remove it. I told him to go ahead and take it off. Being a good doctor he said “While you are here let me check the rest of you before I do that.” Within moments he stopped, pointed at a very small flat mole (freckle practically) and said “How long has his been here?”

I replied I had no clue as I had never paid it any attention. He stopped what he was doing and called a dermatologist friend of his right there from the exam room. He set up an appointment for me to be seen the next day. The mole I came in for was going to have to wait for this stupid little tiny dark freckle like mole on my side.

The next day I was in the dermatologist office. A beautiful young dark haired woman with credentials all over her walls. She asked me to show her the spot I was sent in for. She looked at it and said “That is coming off and being sent to pathology today, now take off the rest of your clothes as I need to examine all of your body.”

She found nothing else that day. I received a call from the dermatologist herself four days later. She asked if I could come in the next day as my results were back and it was malignant Melanoma. She needed to clear the margins and check my lymph nodes. She explained it would be in office minor surgery.

When I arrived she gave me the good news that it was just under 1mm, (just under one millimeter) in depth which meant we may have just caught it in time. She explained that melanomas will usually cross into the lymph nodes at 1mm. She was going in to clear my margins which would be removal of all tissue 3 cm in each direction from the site. Yep a total of SIX centimeters across in a circle and a full THREE centimeters deep of tissue excavated from my body.  It was to leave a scar, I call it my shark bite.

She called a week later, all of my margins were clear and they would not need to go in to take any lymph nodes for biopsy. I was to return every six months for the next ten years. It’s been eleven years now and many moles have been removed, only one was pre-cancerous at about a year out from the original melanoma. I’m now a survivor. I can now cut back to once a year seeing her and check myself regularly.

I have no family history (that we know of) of melanoma. It was my concern about the looks of a mole, that turned out to be nothing more than ugly, taken to a good thorough MD that saved my life. If I had put that off another couple months, I would most likely not be writing this today. Melanoma is deadly. Once it crosses the lymph nodes there is little that can be done. Malignant Melanoma does not respond well to cancer treatments and spreads throughout the body.

What are you waiting for? I challenge you to get your skin check ASAP, it might save your life. I owe my life today to a simple skin check.

Now Go ahead over to Beard Season, just click HERE and see how you can help raise awareness about Melanoma. Oh,  and check out which beard just signed himself up to be an ambassador!

 

Rising above

First I must give credit where it is due, I was made aware of this over on Joe.My.God.

The Oakland A’s have decided to have a LGBT night at one of their games this Season. Not anything new to me as the San Diego Padres have been having one night a year for the LGBT community for years now. It’s very common for different nights to be set apart for different segments of the community in baseball. There are 80 home games for each team every year. Designated nights allow for promotion of the team.

Apparently the LGBT night is new in Oakland and some of the season ticket holders are upset and do not want to attend. That’s their right. As a season ticket holder you can sell or trade your tickets.

What does an enlightened team player do to better a situation that is causing a controversy? How can one take lemons and make lemonade?

Oakland A’s pitcher, Sean Doolittle, has stepped up to the plate. He and his girlfriend have offered to purchase any disgruntled season ticket holders tickets at face value, which is more than a season ticket holder actually pays for them, and are going to donate the tickets to LGBTQ youth. This sticky situation is now a blessing to youth who are often cast offs.

Whats a good beard with a good conscience to do? Kudos to Sean Doolittle and his girlfriend Eriann for doing a good thing.

Oakland A's pitcher Sean Doolittle

Oakland A’s pitcher Sean Doolittle

If you wish to read more on it:

http://www.outsports.com/2015/3/31/8324469/oakland-pitcher-sean-doolittle-and-girlfriend-buy-ticket-to-fill

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2015/04/oakland-as-pitcher-offers-to-buy.html#disqus_thread

HOT

It should be about 68 degrees F. It's only March 14 for god's sake!

It should be about 68 degrees F. It’s only March 14 for god’s sake!

I don’t even know where they are getting partly cloudy from, not one cloud to be seen. Don’t get me wrong here, I love our weather today. It’s freakin beautiful out there. But 86 degrees F on March 14 in the shade? In San Diego?

In years gone by here in this lovely city by the bay, we don’t typically see this temperature until then end of August. Last year this happened. We had an unusually warm spring and a hot summer. Today my AC is running full blast here in this vintage Califonia craftsman home. We even had to run it a few times in January. We used to never run it until the last couple weeks of August because we never needed it until then.

We are the lucky ones in my neighborhood. Most homes around us don’t even have central AC and they are million plus dollar homes. We just never needed it. I installed it as a luxury back in 1997 as I was having a new central heat system installed at that time and figured why not have it for those few days we need it each year. (The house is so vintage it was still heated by a single circa 1917 gravity floor furnace until 1997. Yes the old place is turning 100 soon.)

At this moment I choose to feel gratitude for our lovely weather, my central AC, our solar panels that are powering that AC and the bright sunshine shining on those panels. Fearsome is a cool and grateful beard!

Happy Saturday!

Human rights, why bother.

So, did I get your attention?

The headline for this post comes from the play Greater Tuna. Charlene wrote a report for school with that title.

I grew up in the 1960s and 70s. I was too young to remember most of the civil rights movement. I do remember when my public school was integrated during the 1971-72 school year. I thought it was cool. These kids were fun. I was too young to know the history I was experiencing.

This month marks the 50th anniversary of Selma and dawn the voting rights act of 1965, which was not signed into law until August of 1965. Before that law was signed only white people were guaranteed the right to vote, if you were not white you could be turned away. It wasn’t  until 6 years later that people of color could attend the white school that was in my neighborhood in Virginia. The city I grew up in had segregated schools.

Human rights are a constant struggle throughout the world. I blame EGO. The ego of a dominating group discriminates in order to feed their own egos. No one human is better than any other one human. Neither is one group of humans better than another group of humans, races, cultures, religions, beliefs, colors, sexual orientations, handicaps, challenges, familial backgrounds, financial resources, likes or dislikes.

To speak up for the one who has no voice, or whose voice is not being heard or understood is a trait of good character. I strive to grow the courage and stay the corse to be a man of character. I hope that I can see my blind spots and strive to never treat anyone for less than who they are. I have faults and will occaisionaly fail, but hope that I can correct myself and continue a path upholding my brother, my sister. We are one human race made up of many who are different and that is the beauty of the world.

Human rights, YES bother!

I dedicate this space to honor those who had the courage to dream to stand up and to change us for the better. Thank you.

I dedicate this space to honor those who had the courage to dream, to stand up and to change us for the better. Thank you.

We have further to go, much further. May those who stood up before us, inspire us to continue standing up for what is right.

Snow in San Diego!

Yep unbeknownst to some, it snows in San Diego. Well in San Diego county it snows. Ranging from sea level to over 8,000 feet and about the size of the state of Connecticut, San Diego has many different climates and terrains. We have another pacific storm upon our little corner of the world and this is a cold one. Thus the snow levels are dropping to about the 4,000-5,000 foot level and will give us our snow capped mountains just in time for Christmas.

Fearsome you ask? Well he lives near the coast at about 200 feet.  For him it will be in the low 60s for highs he will have to look to the east when it clears up, about Thursday, and enjoy the white capped mountains from afar. He is fine with this.

Who better to welcome the snow to San Diego than none other than the most talented and wonderful Ella Fitzgerald?

Have a wonderful fun filled day!