Sober Beard

3653 days ago today I came to on the floor of a Las Vegas hotel room bathroom. Thankfully, so far, that was the last time I came to in that condition. My gratitude for the sobriety I have and the people who have helped me along the way on my path cannot be fully expressed. However that deep gratitude is there and it sustains my soul.

Ten years…

Wow.

10 year Sober and Grateful Fearsome Beard

How’s Fearsome?

A treasured reader asked us through the comments the other day how we were doing post surgery. I appreciate his concern and appreciate even more his gentle nudge to open myself up and express myself more. I’m grateful to be part of a blogging community that is just that…community, a community that cares.

We are doing well. Fearsome survived uncut and unscathed. I got both scoped and cut.

The surgeon cut in order to open the top of the shoulder large enough to remove the rather large cyst that had developed on top of my right AC Joint. He then scoped into the AC joint and removed the end of my clavicle in order to clean out the arthritis that had caused the cyst to develop and then took a look at my bicep tendon as well as my rotator cuff. Both the rotator cuff and bicep tendon were in good shape so I got away with just a cyst removal and the clavicle clean up.

Pain has been tolerable and I am doing well as long as I don’t really do anything. So do nothing right now is the key I have discovered. Stitches come out this Thursday and I’ll be able to finally shower. Physical therapy will begin April 15th.

So during my do nothing time I sleep and I watch films. I also indulge in YouTube clips and just found this one. I’m not a religious man but I do enjoy a well performed gospel tune. Oh honey… is this performance fabulous. It’s truly a work of art that moved me to tears. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Leslie Jordan featuring Chris & Morgane Stapleton – Farther Along – 2021

Beard of the day

Surgery ready Beard

Today is surgery day. Right shoulder is having arthritis and a cyst removed from the AC joint. Fearsome can be rather invasive at times as he seems to get into everything, so we had a talk and he agreed I could tie him up for the time being. He doesn’t want to accidentally get cut off.

Wish us luck and healing. We may be back tomorrow, or we may not due to pain status.

Peace.

Reflections

Time to pause.

Gratitude is what I feel when I stop to reflect on the fact I’m a sober man. 

Gratitude for the fact that I’m no longer hiding from myself and others that I have a problem that I can no longer handle. I had driven myself to the edge of a cliff and had a choice. Thankfully I chose the choice to give up self destruction for self recovery.

Today I pause to remember, be grateful and to continue forward on my current path. It’s a path that is working for me. A path of growth, serenity and honesty.

9 years – November 7, 2011

Nature’s Beauty

We here at Fearsome Beard try to stay focused on the positive, the beautiful and the uplifting.

Although not uplifting, we felt that the post previous to this one today was necessary to point out the obvious. We feel that the obvious needs to be pointed out because for some reason there seems to be a blind spot in society that we think can be changed, but only can be changed by pointing it out. Please join us do your part and point it out as often as necessary to hopefully resolve that blind spot.
Thank you for hearing us out and supporting our right to speak up.

Now for something beautiful.
After a stellar spring and amazing early summer, just when the hundreds of Oriental hybrid lilies planted in our front yard are about done with their annual show, this one started opening about 4 days ago and today was in full glory.

Beards and Flowers

The scent is heavenly and can be enjoyed from standing all the way out in the street.  The stalk is a full six feet tall and yes it’s that big that Fearsome is almost small in comparison. The blooms are each a good 10-12 inches across.

One of Fearsome’s very first post was with one of our lilies back on June 2, 2014 and can be seen  HERE.

Notre Dame

It was late December as my birthday was approaching number of years ago in the late 1990s, I was starting to pack for a weekend away to Palm Springs to celebrate the passing of another year. While I was packing my Better Half walked into the room with an envelope. He handed it to me and said “I think you had better open this as it may help you pack.”

I opened the envelope to find a round trip ticket to my favorite city on earth, Paris. We would be leaving in 48 hours. Wow, what a surprise! A week in Paris, a week in Paris the first week of January. Yeah, I guess the bathing suits I was packing weren’t going to be useful for this trip.

I had only been to Paris once before but it had already secured that special place in my heart that it still holds today. My first trip there had only been probably some 18 months before. On that trip it was high tourist season. Getting even close to Notre Dame was almost impossible on that first trip. However I remember my first glimpse of that imposing structure that was also one of the most beautiful works of art I had even seen. Still to this day I can feel my breath leave my body as I turned the corner to look up and see it’s magnificence.

I was transported to another time. I knew this beauty. I knew this cathedral like I knew the back of my hand. I knew deep inside of me, having never even paid attention to photos much less studying anything about it, that I had been there before. Whether it was some dream or maybe a past life experience I’ll never know, but I had been here. I knew her grandiosity to the point of intimate comfort. I could not wait to get inside to re-visit the interior that I knew so well. However this story isn’t about that trip. That was the first trip there. The trip where I actually laid eyes on a familiar place for the first time. The first time at least in this lifetime.

This trip, this special trip that the man who would one day be my legal husband gave me as a birthday present, was in the dead of winter. Turns out tourists don’t go to Paris in the dead of winter, or at least not the first week of January. It was cold but it was magnificent. It was the two of us freezing Southern Californians and a city with its doors wide open and no one in our way.

We walked right up to the ticket counter at the Eiffel Tower, with not a soul in line to buy a ticket, and walked right up to step onto an elevator. An elevator all the way to the top with only two others aboard. We walked into The Louvre only to walk right up to the Mona Lisa, when before we couldn’t even get into the room where the Mona Lisa was. We walked right into the magnificent work of art that is Notre Dame and spent hours enveloped in the beauty, history and majesty that I adored. I adored not only from my previous trip but knew from some other time, some other experience that was still a mystery to me. We walked right over to the corner, where we previously may have had to wait outside in line all day to even hopefully possibly access,  only to take our first step into her infamous towers and walk right up to the top.

Seeing Paris from The Eiffel Tower is incredible. Seeing Paris from the towers of Notre Dame is life changing.

A young Fearsome Beard sets eyes on the most beautiful city in the world from the top of the world’s most magnificent work of art, Notre Dame. 

The Better Half with Fearsome, Thank you Better Half.

Two of the famous friends we made that day in Paris.