Life

Life.

Living it gets busy. Living it is interesting. Living it is stressful. Living it is joyous. Living it is beauty. Living it is ugly. Living it is bliss. Living it is amazing. Living it is a gift. Living it is work. Living it is love. Living it is a protest. Living it shares. Living it takes. Living it gives. Living it is tiresome. Living it invigorates. Living it supports. Living it teaches. Living it disappoints. Living it excites. Living it is understanding. Living it is respect.

We can make life what we want. The only thing in life we can truly change is how we see things, how we react and how we choose to run with it.

I choose beauty. I choose love.

Decency

Decency: noun /di-sen-si/ behavior that is good, moral and acceptable in society.

I believe in living a good, decent and moral life. I believe in leaving behind better than I found when I leave, not only any place I go but also this life and this planet when I leave. I believe in doing good. I believe in truth, honesty and integrity. I believe in respect. I believe in kindness. I believe in sharing. I believe in caring. I believe in humility. I believe in love. I believe in helping. I believe ecology. I believe in character. I believe in education. I believe in equality. I believe in humanity. I believe in oneness. I believe in decency.

What do you believe in?

The Pain of it All

This is getting old, really old.

Get a little better, get a little worse, get a little better, get a little worse. Fuck this hurts!

Look here… I prefer life on the sunny side. I am very blessed with every aspect of my life. Blessed I’m telling you. I focus on the blessings. I feel gratitude. More and more wonderful things come my way. The more I focus on good, the more good I get.

Why the hell do I want to write this down? Why do I admit pain?

Once in a while we all must take a moment, acknowledge the less than perfect aspects and then get on with moving on.

My shoulders both hurt dammit. Both.

The left post surgical is getting better little by little and is mostly just sore with challenging movements it hasn’t yet mastered since surgery. Expected slow post surgical recovery sensations.

The right, and formerly good, shoulder is driving me batshit crazy. Damn it hurts. The impingement burns and feels like a ripped open gaping wound. Reaching for anything is agony and don’t even think about turning it.

When both shoulders act out at the same time it can be defeating, debilitating.

Today is not a good day…however…I will focus on healing and tomorrow being better. I will get better in time. This, too, shall pass. I’m a healthy guy. I’m blessed with good health insurance. I’m blessed with a positive outlook. I’m blessed with love and support. I’m blessed with the ability to recover from life’s little bumps. This is just a little bump.

Setbacks? They are just setups for life’s greatest comebacks!

Watch out life, here I come!

Meeting wisdom

I go to meetings. I rather enjoy my meetings and am quite active in my 12 step program. My sobriety is very important to me, for it not only saved my life but also gave me back my life.

I hear a lot of good wisdom in meetings. Yesterday I heard this prayer, a prayer that I feel is worth sharing.

“Dear God, may others treat me tomorrow as I treat others today. Amen.”

A prayer I pray at this very moment. A prayer I may choose to pray daily.

Number 9

This Beard doesn’t quite believe that a bearded dude in a robe, possibly named Moses or somethingarother, went up some mountain only to return with stone tablets etched with commandments from a deity. Possible? Most likely not. But possibly plausible? Well yes anything is possible in the realm of the universe, stranger things have happened. But we aren’t here to debate whether this feat actually happened.

Anyahoo… them thar commandments themselves are, mostly, pretty good little suggestions for living a rather peaceful life. I mean who really has peace after committing murder?

It sure is is nice, too, when the persons who most often espouse these commandment thingys in others faces actually follow them in their own lives. I mean honestly, pun intended, if one is going to tell me to follow such suggestions, shouldn’t one be applying them in ones own life first? Morality is something one should practice before one preaches …is it not?

Then there is number 9. Number 9 is a good one. Number 9 states “Thou shall not bear false witness”.

For certain individuals who may be confused let me explain what those words mean in simpler terms: Don’t Lie.

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Restraint

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I am learning that restraint is a virtue. I don’t always remember it is, but through repetition and practice I’m getting better.

Some synonyms of restraint are: moderation, prudence, self-control, judiciousness and discipline. I find these all to be good character qualities.

Today I contemplate restraint of pen and tongue. Today I practice pause, thought and choice. I must remember words are things. Words have power. Words should be chosen carefully.

Dusting off a memory

Today I find that a familiar tune from the past is ringing in my ears. A year ago who would have ever thunk that this fabulous Jimmy Somerville diddy would suddenly become relevant.

Well Juanita it has.

This musical inspiration has suddenly become relevant again. It is a tune of inspiration out of oppression. Thus we are getting it down from the shelf, dusting it off and shaking our cute little tushy about the house. We are warming ourself up to get up, get out and stand up. Stand up for honest human values.

You go Jimmy. Get us up, get us going!

Don’t ever let us forget.

Read My Lips

Jimmy Somerville 1990

When one of us is oppressed we are all oppressed.

We’ve stood up for what was right before …and Juanita we ain’t forgot how!

Enough is enough is enough is enough.

Ready Beard

So now they wanna fuck with trans children?

Children.

As a society we are to force a child that is born into a body that doesn’t match the child’s gender, a child that already feels different, a child that is more often than not outcast from said child’s peers to have to fucking pee in the bathroom of the sex that doesn’t match the very person the child actually is?

Fearsome in his new Pussy Hat

Fearsome in his new Pussy Hat

A very dear friend, whom I simply adore, made Fearsome his very own Pussy Hat. It arrived yesterday and couldn’t have been more timely. Fearsome is protest ready.

As a child I used to pee before leaving home to go to school. I would not pee again until I got home after school. I often held it for more than 8 hours. I lived in fear of the bullying I received daily for being different. I was effeminate and perceived by the boys in my school as being weak. I was the safe one who they could pick on, taunt and beat up to prove their masculinity to one another. They didn’t fear the queer boy as being able to hurt them back. All this and my body matched my identity. I identified as male, albeit an effeminate one. I can’t imagine the torment of the body not matching my actual self and being subject to the cruelty of immature insecure school age peers.

It’s time to stand up for those who are being shut out. It’s time to stand up for children. It’s time to stand up for what is right. It’s time to stand up for ourselves. It’s time to stand up before it’s too late. We didn’t come this far to go backward.

Not enough?

Not any longer.

We came this far to love enough. We came this far to care enough.

Join us.

Issue 1

The very first issue of Captian America

The very first issue of Captian America

Fearsome and I are not comic history buffs, but one thing we do know is that Captian America came into existence during World War II. The very first issue shows Captain America fighting the injustice of the ultimate of inhumane discrimination.

Our take:

Discrimination is born out of fear and ignorance. Fear of loss and ignorance of other cultures. Discrimination is actually the ego trying to build itself up out of a lonely inferior dark place.

A famous quote comes to mind:

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Captain America was born out of values. Values of acceptance, freedom, growth, opportunity and bravery. Values that support humanity. The values that through humility and the realization that no one is better than any other, we may raise each other to equality and freedom beyond petty ego.

Fearsome values.

Stand up. Stay the corse. Don’t ever loose sight of what is good, nor ever stop working toward the goal of greater good.

Justice

It’s Wednesday. This morning we have a 90 minute in home massage to break up more of the post surgery scar tissue that still inhibits the use of our left shoulder. In preparation Fearsome desired a word to contemplate while receiving said massage. A contemplation as a meditation so to speak.

Due to recent news and circumstances, a word that came to mind and resonated with both of us this morning just happened to be:

Justice…

…according to The Oxford English Dictionary can be defined as…

noun
1.
just behavior or treatment.
“a concern for justice, peace, and genuine respect for people”
synonyms: fairness, justness, fair play, fair-mindedness, equity, evenhandedness, impartiality, objectivity, neutrality, disinterestedness, honesty, righteousness, morals, morality
“I appealed to his sense of justice”

So we post this contemplation as a place for us to look back and remember where we were and what was important to us this day. We also share it as it may be a contemplation that one of you dear readers may also enjoy this day.

A wise man once said…

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Mrs. Evans

A couple days ago I started organizing my paperwork for my tax accountant. I’m one of those who has a big file drawer who throws the entire year into it unorganized but in the drawer. Each February I empty the drawer in order to separate all receipts, bills, documents and the like into a proper order for accumulating the data necessary to file taxes for a self employed person. It’s quite the monumentous task.

I have rituals to make it a tolerable task.

First I go in knowing have planted some cards or notes that I have received in the past in that drawer the year before to stumble upon to break up the monotony. I started this years ago. I move the cards back into the drawer each year from the year before so I can find them Year after year as hidden treasures. Each year a new card or note makes its way into this collection, something that is special and evokes personal emotion. The cards get mixed up in there so I never know when I will happen upon one.

Then upon emptying the drawer I find the place on the internet where the Maya Angelou Master Class, which I posted a couple days back, is now located. It’s always bootleggely posted somewhere until the powers that own it find it and then it will show up in some other obscure place. I then proceed to play this 42 minute Master Class on a continueous loop as background listening. It motivates me while it reinforces my personal values as well as those I strive to obtain.

Once my drawer is dumped out on the sorting table (a desk in the guest room) and Maya is playing in the background, I commence opening each crumpled receipt, paper and card. I read each one and start making piles on the guest room bed. Piles of organization for filing, tabulating and organizing.

This year I was stopped in my tracks by this:

Halloween card from Betty L. Drummond ...AKA Mrs. Evans

Halloween card from Betty L. Drummond …AKA Mrs. Evans

The last card I ever received from her.

The last card I ever received from her.

Betty Evans was the lady across the street when I was growing up. My mother worked for the parks and recreation department of our city, Betty was a stay at home mom who’s kids were a little older. Mrs. Evans was my baby sitter and second mom. She wasn’t the most refined of ladies. She was not blessed with money or an easy life. She was just a woman full of love and a woman who loved life. She loved me as if I was one of hers and I loved her as if she were my mom.

Mrs. Evans became quite ill later in her life and this card from 1998 was the last one I ever received from her. By the time she wrote this card she had sold her home across the street from my parents and moved in with her son. I had apparently tucked the card away in the back of our antique china cabinet. Last January we sold that Art Deco dining room set and I had found the card cleaning it out. In my receipt drawer it went.

Finding that card brought back a rush of childhood into the mundane yearly task of receipt sorting. It helped to bring me to a place of gratitude for the life I have been blessed with so far, the life I’m gifted with at this very moment and the bright future that lies ahead.

Betty (Evans) Drummond taught me that no matter what happens, no matter when life deals you a bad card, to always get up with a smile on your face and share love with those around you. She taught me that love always makes everything better.

May Mrs. Evans beautiful smile full of love touch your heart today.

“Be the best human being you can be.”

“Just do right.”

“Right may not be expedient, it may not be profitable, it will satisfy your soul.”

“It will give you the protection that bodyguards can’t give you. ”

“Do it because it right to do. ”

“This is your life, it’s your world. ”

“It can be better and it’s up to us. ”

These quotes are the words of Maya Angelou. At this moment video from whence they come is HERE. It is her 42 minute master class. This video disappears from the internet every time it gets posted and is hard to find in its full length. It’s a shame it isn’t public domain as the words she shares heal the human soul. Her words are a gift to human kind and should be shared freely. Watch it now before this copy goes the way of all the previous copies I have found and simply goes “poof” …because apparently the copywright holder doesn’t want it shared freely.

This video is needed now more than ever. It is worth every minute of yor time.

Enjoy!

 

 

Just how empathetic are you?

I just stumbled upon this quiz on a UC Berkeley website called Greater Good in Action. The quiz helps to identify your tendancies and abilities regarding empathy. I scored 96 out of 110 indicating “a high level of empathy in general.”

If you are so inclined to find out more about your own empathy or want some good reading on the subject check out their quiz right HERE.

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I like that I’m somewhat empathetic. I value empathy. I wish to cultivate more of it in my life.

Mom updates

Mom is doing much better. Big relief. Physical therapy has worked well for her. She is much more herself.

Her birthday party was a success and she absolutely loves her new Apple Watch. She is calling everyone from her wrist. Seriously!

Fearsome Mom

Fearsome Mom

Yes, I made the cake. Kentucky Butter Cake! (You can find the recipe HERE)

After a wonderful time with mom, Fearsome and I boarded our flight to start our journey home. Due to the tumultuous weekend of policy changes by decree we figured we may see a bit of discourse along the way. San Diego International did not disappoint.

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Outside baggage claim thousands of peaceful protestors as far as the eye could see, even on the upper level drop off area. We added our cheers of support as we made our way through the crowd having to walk to the smaller domestic flight only terminal for pick up. It was an uplifting walk after a weekend of disconcerting news.

Yesterday we took another step in our support of compassionate human values. If you are so inclined you can add your support as well simply by clicking HERE.

We are glad to be home safely with our family. We pray for everyone that are separated from families/loved ones and for all those that are displaced from their home/homelands that are simply seeking safe refuge in order to live.

 

The first

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.