Dusting off a memory

Today I find that a familiar tune from the past is ringing in my ears. A year ago who would have ever thunk that this fabulous Jimmy Somerville diddy would suddenly become relevant.

Well Juanita it has.

This musical inspiration has suddenly become relevant again. It is a tune of inspiration out of oppression. Thus we are getting it down from the shelf, dusting it off and shaking our cute little tushy about the house. We are warming ourself up to get up, get out and stand up. Stand up for honest human values.

You go Jimmy. Get us up, get us going!

Don’t ever let us forget.

Read My Lips

Jimmy Somerville 1990

When one of us is oppressed we are all oppressed.

We’ve stood up for what was right before …and Juanita we ain’t forgot how!

Enough is enough is enough is enough.

Ready Beard

So now they wanna fuck with trans children?

Children.

As a society we are to force a child that is born into a body that doesn’t match the child’s gender, a child that already feels different, a child that is more often than not outcast from said child’s peers to have to fucking pee in the bathroom of the sex that doesn’t match the very person the child actually is?

Fearsome in his new Pussy Hat

Fearsome in his new Pussy Hat

A very dear friend, whom I simply adore, made Fearsome his very own Pussy Hat. It arrived yesterday and couldn’t have been more timely. Fearsome is protest ready.

As a child I used to pee before leaving home to go to school. I would not pee again until I got home after school. I often held it for more than 8 hours. I lived in fear of the bullying I received daily for being different. I was effeminate and perceived by the boys in my school as being weak. I was the safe one who they could pick on, taunt and beat up to prove their masculinity to one another. They didn’t fear the queer boy as being able to hurt them back. All this and my body matched my identity. I identified as male, albeit an effeminate one. I can’t imagine the torment of the body not matching my actual self and being subject to the cruelty of immature insecure school age peers.

It’s time to stand up for those who are being shut out. It’s time to stand up for children. It’s time to stand up for what is right. It’s time to stand up for ourselves. It’s time to stand up before it’s too late. We didn’t come this far to go backward.

Not enough?

Not any longer.

We came this far to love enough. We came this far to care enough.

Join us.

Rise to the occasion

Due to unfortunate circumstances the need for a Hero is now upon us.

Is it not time to realize that the Hero we need is us? All we must do is stand up, speak out and help our fellow man. Do right. Stand up. Act.

Support justice and support journalism.

True correct journalism is needed now more than ever. Free news is not news.

Subscribe to good journalism. Why not good upstanding news papers online or in print? Just this week we subscribed to The Washington Post. Give it, or another, a try. Let’s us put our money where our mouth is.

Let us speak out, speak justly, speak truth and speak with love. Love for our fellow man.

There is no black, no white, no brown, no yellow, no gay, no straight, no Jew, no Christian, no atheist, no Muslim, no gender, no anything other than HUMAN.

Hero. Be one.

Power

When I sit at home alone I feel powerless.

When I focus only on myself I am powerless.

When I worry I reinforce being powerless.

When I give I find purpose.

When I get involved I gain power.

When I work for others outside myself I have power.

I have the power to change things for others, myself and my world for the better.

The only way to better my community, my country and my world is to act, to care and to share.

I have abilities. I have talents. I have knowledge. It’s my duty to use these assets to help my community and everyone in it for betterment. By helping out, I help not only the world at large, I help myself as well.

Be strong. Stand up. Give. Share. Love. Help. Work.

Avoiding defeatism

OK …I haven’t been posting much other than beards and fluff. I feel as if my thoughts haven’t been fitting blog fodder of recent. I’ve had a bit of defeated mindset syndrome and I decided that if I write about it then I’ll contemplate it. Maybe if I contemplate it I’ll see a way around it and out of it.

Let me take us back a couple weeks.

Shortly before leaving on the adventure into Ft. Lauderdale, which gifted me with an unexpected one night stay at the luxurious Dulles International Marriott, I fell. You see I was showing one of my listings and they have a large very strong dog. The dog is usually gone for showings but due to unforeseen circumstance she was there and it was my job to control her. She is a sweetie and I’m a dog person but she got spooked. In my efforts, to keep her separate from the 2 million dollar buyers, she pulled one way while I went another and face forward I went. The only arm available to catch me before I face planted was my left post surgical arm on the edge of the pool table. It went into a position that my physical therapist has yet to be able to safely obtain. Ouchfuck!

Defeat. I hurt bad. I felt defeated. I saw my surgeon. All physical therapy has been postponed for two weeks until after my follow up with him this week. I can’t lift, drive, excercise or even wash the left side of my head with it. I can only do two movement excercises that were the first two I could do after surgery. Square one, I found myself standing on square one yet again. This was fall number 3 on it since surgery and by far the worst.

Is it ok? We don’t know. I can only hope so. We see the Doc Thursday and he will decide then if I go for another MRI.

I had been making progress. I had been able to reach slightly above shoulder level without pain. Just the week before I was able to pull a parking ticket from the dispenser at the garage entrance to my physical therapy facility. Woo Hoo! I started to have visions of hopefully returning to yoga class in another couple months. At this moment hopes of a return to yoga class are but a long term goal.

Deafeated mindset syndrome. Yes I made that up. It’s a place I do not want to be. It is something that I must be aware of, acknowledge and move on from. Defeat is an emotional feeling that is so easy for the ego to grab onto and make part of its identity. I mustn’t allow my ego to grasp defeatism. I am better than that. I have found that the ego will grasp anything, either good or bad, and run with it as long as it is able to use such to inflate itself.

Humility. By denying my ego an inflated sense of self through undesirable identities, I can choose better things such as recovery, healing, strength and movement. This is not permanent. This is simply life. Life has challenges. Challenges strengthen us. I am able. I must work smarter and work harder.

When I remain humble and accept what is, I must have faith and believe in my ability. I will then improve, overcome and grow.

Obstacles I have. That’s all this is, an obstacle.

Pain …(Language Warning)

Nine weeks out of surgery. For most part I have done well.

I have one thing to say this morning. Fuck! This fucking shoulder surgery recovery can hurt. Good god it can hurt. I just experienced the worst night since the first week of surgery. I don’t mean to bitch but I am because I need to. Fuck!

Off to physical therapy this morning, I hope it’s ok.

Fearsome writes our President

Yesterday we felt helpless. Yesterday we did something to change that. Yesterday we contacted our representative and senators. We provided this LINK so you could as well. With the aide of that link it took us 10 minutes total to write all three.

This morning we wrote President Obama and Vice President Biden. I am sure that our letters are lost in a sea of letters and communications they are receiving but they are there. Without hundreds of thousands of letters just like ours, the importance of responsibility regarding this issue would not be forefront in our leaders agendas. Please write how you feel to each and every one of our leaders that represents you.

You can reach the White House for both Obama & Biden … by simply clicking right HERE.

Below is our letter. Feel free to use it as an example, write your own or even copy and paste it if your view is similar to Fearsome’s:

Dear President Obama,
Please do not delay in pushing forward responsible, sensible gun control. Assault weapons have no place outside of law enforcement and military use. Handguns need only be in the hands of thoroughly vetted responsible citizens and in limited numbers….if at all. The tragedies we endure can and must stop.
Freedoms are actually limited in a free society. They are limited by the freedoms infringement on the safety and security of fellow citizens. Of this I am sure you are quite aware. I believe in you and I rest assured that you will do the right thing by pushing forward and holding those controlled by the gun lobby responsible for our recent tragedies.
Thank you for your years of service. You are an inspiration. You have accomplished many great things and your legacy improves not only the United States, but the world as a whole. May sensible gun control become part of your legacy to the absolute best of your ability.
Sincerely,
(Your name here)

 

Go Ahead….do something, say something….don’t let those lost in Orlando be lost without your voice expressing the necessity of responsibility.

Thank you.

Are you upset?

Did this morning’s news hurt?

Are you left feeling bewildered?

Why not contact your representatives now and request that they actually do something about it?

Click HERE and be directed to a handy website to contact them this very minute. Write them, encourage your friends and family. Together let’s do something, let’s take a step to stop the madness.

Here is a screen shot of one of my note to Barbara Boxer:

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The link is easy to use to all of your representatives in Washington. Now is the time to hold their feet to the fire.

Once again the link is HERE.

Thank you.

 

Award Winning Beard!

Thank you Debra!

For She has bestowed the fabulous …

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to Fearsome!

He is humbled. Have you ever seen a Beard blush? I could feel him blushing today when he got the news.

So we will answer a few questions, some of them dating back to before Fearsome’s emergence.

  1. What does music mean to you?

Music is is one of the gifts of being human. It is art. Audible art. My interpretation of art is expressions that move us. Expression that stirs emotions, calms, enlivens, comforts, disturbs, enlightens, envelopes and frees. Music gives us expansion and enriches the human experience of life. It is communication, but communication at a higher moving level that has the power to reach deep within us and stir us. Music is an art where the talented composer allows the performing artists to add their own brush strokes of understanding to influence his/her work. Gerswin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” moves me, motivates me and gifts me with beauty each time I hear it.

2. What is your first music related memory?

Dad playing Neil Diamond on his stereo. My father was an audiophile who always had the best stereo equipment and speaker systems that he could afford on his middle class income. Neil Diamond was always a favorite of his. He liked to play his stereo loud, rattle the windows loud. I spent many an evening trying to go to sleep after my mother tucking me in with the sound of my fathers music blaring from down the hall. My first memories date back to the late 1960s. While “Sweet Caroline” came in at one of billboard’s number five and is Diamond’s most remembered hit from 1969, it’s Diamond’s “Holly Holy”, which made it to number six that year, that is burned into my memory and my musical first. “Holly Holy” is actually a much richer and more intense piece of music than its more popular counterpart from that year.

3. What was the first album you ever purchased yourself?

The first album I ever purchased for myself was Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy. I saved and saved up for that through doing chores for my mom. I had to earn my allowance.  I thank my parents for that lesson in values. I was eight. Work hard, save, reap benefits. My older brother had that album and I loved it. He wouldn’t let me play his so I had to buy my own. I still have it to this day. It’s in great condition. It’s condition I attribute to my parents for also teaching me to take care of what you work hard for and it will last you a lifetime. It truly has. It is still one of my favorite pieces of music ever produced. The whole album is one piece. Led Zeppelin, in my opinion, were masters of their art and their music is magnificent. This tune, “The Ocean” closes the album with a moving climax and rocking finish…’oh so good!’

4. What is the latest music you purchased?

“Every Day Feels Like Summer With You” from the Shaun the Sheep soundtrack. This tune grabbed me from the first moment I heard it when the movie opened. It’s a feel good tune. I’m a feel good guy. I truly believe that you get what you focus on…. If you focus on the bad shit in your life or in others, you get more bad shit…. On the other hand if you are grateful for what is right and focus on that, you will get more of what is right and is fabulous. Good thoughts create good things so I choose to fill my life with things that make me feel good. Call me Pollyanna cause I’m proud of being one. As soon as I finished watching the movie a few weeks ago I wrote a post about it and bought the tune. I listen to it almost daily.

5. What is the very last song you listened to before writing this post? Be honest!

Blue Oyster Cult’s “I’m Burning for You”. I read these questions just before I left for my evening meeting (some of us sober dudes go to meetings) so when I parked my car I took a picture of my dash to prove what tune I was a rocking to on my drive home….

My dashboard, as you can see Ozzy's Boneyard on Sirius XM was my station tonight as it often is.

My dashboard, as you can see Ozzy’s Boneyard on Sirius XM was my station tonight …as it often is.

…and now for the tune….caution as it’s quite the 1981 throwback…it’s actually good driving music.

Now I get to nominate some bloggers for their own Music and Words Award!

I nominate these fabulous bloggers below and congratulate them on this prestigious award. I can’t wait to see their posts!

Blobby,

Eric,

Mistress Maddie,

Travelpenguin,

Myhusband&I,

Jaywalks,

DavidFinchRN @thereisanotherwaytolive

RobertTheINFP,

Willyorwonthe.

 

 

 

Get Naked with Yourself!

Sure it’s fun to get naked all by yourself. Go ahead do it. Even better do it in front of a mirror. Get naked and explore the beauty of your own body, your own skin. Touch yourself. Pull, lift, tug and look. Take it all in. Explore every niche, cranny, opening and surface. Get to know yourself. Take in every wrinkle, spot, color and texture. Self intimacy. Let it feel good.

Self intimacy is good for you. It’s pleasurable and life saving. Yes life saving. Especially if you don’t only do it with yourself, but do it with yourself and then share it with another. Share it with someone knowledgable and caring. Someone who may even give you tips on your body and even how you may better explore it.

In 2004 during an intimate moment with my own body, an intimate moment with a mirror in fact, I discovered a mole. An unusual mole. I called my doctor. He took one look at me and said oh that’s fine, but over here….what is this? How long have you had it? When replied I hadn’t noticed it before he took a closer look and called a colleague right there from the exam room in front of me. The colleague? A dermatologist. He wanted me to see her ASAP. She couldn’t right then but could take me the next day.

The next day in her office she asked where the mole was that had landed me in her office. I pointed to my side. She called her nurse for assistance then told me it was coming off as soon as she gave me a good search over in case there was anything else of concern. No nothing else, just the one. Numb, clean, clip….it was in a specimen container and off to the lab.

The call came five days later. Malignant Melanoma. Could I come in the next day? They needed to clear the margins and check my lymph nodes.

Margins being a huge hack of 3cm of flesh in each direction outward from the site cut out of my side and inwards toward my center….all clear. Lymph nodes….all clear. The mole was only 0.9mm deep. Just 0.1mm shy of a full mm deep that would have possibly moved me to stage 2. Close call. All clear of a stage 1 malignant melanoma.

She streesed that I talk with my siblings. Two brothers I have. She said that the highest risk factor is not from parent, but having a sibling. They need to be checked. I called both. I was very blunt and told them what she had said.

I am a messenger, not my brothers keeper. I can’t force them. Neither told their doctor. Neither got checked.

Fast forward 12 years. My eldest brother was hospitalized for a different matter and a chest X-ray revealed a spot on his lung. A biopsy & pet scan later the spot is a malignant melanoma tumor in his lung. There is melanoma in his lymph nodes and all probably coming from the quarter size melanoma on his neck. He is stage four now and no longer a candidate for surgical removal.

Mom just lost her husband of 62 years last September. The chances of my brother living more than another year are slim. I’m going out for a previously planned trip this week. The timing is good. I can check in with Mom as I know she isn’t taking this well. Losing a spouse at her age is expected. Losing a child isn’t what any parent wants to experience even if the child is sixty.

My other brother you ask? He made an appointment to see his doctor. Someone he can get naked with and learn how to get intimate with the characteristics of his naked skin.

Me? I’ve been cancer free for almost 12 years now. I see my dermatologist once a year at this point. I stay quite intimate with my naked self in the mirror.

You? Have you made a date with your mirror …and better yet your doctor… yet? You may not be my sibling but you are human. Humans of all skin colors get melanoma. You yourself are at risk as well. Do yourself a favor, have a little fun and get naked. Take a look at your beautiful self. Indulge in some caressing, tugging, lifting and looking. Touch, feel…go ahead get to know it all, all of your body. You might just save your life.

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Shedding the weight…

Mind, Body &  Spirit

I know in my life I can catch myself carrying around more than just a big ‘ole Fearsome Beard. I catch myself carrying some baggage from time to time. Unnecessary baggage. There are also times that I carry it without even realizing it. Carrying burdens for work, past & current relationships, family issues, guilt, unmet expectations, ….fill in blank here.

The body, like the mind, can carry some baggage too. Recently I noticed my scale took an uptick. I’m not overweight yet but I had been 170lbs for twenty years and suddenly I’m 180? WTF? Now I’m still thin but ….I used to try to gain 10lbs just to bulk up, I mean eat like crazy.  Suddenly 10 new ones outta no where without trying…I need to stay alert. Don’t get me wrong 180 is fine and I’m happy with it, but no more please. The mind and the body can also affect each other here.

Spirit, how would a spirit carry baggage? It could be my connection to spirit is blocked by something I’m carrying, feeling or doing. There are healthy ways to find the spirit and I believe unhealthy ones too. I need to work at this to keep it healthy.

As many of you know I do the Deepak Chopra free meditations a couple times a year when they are offered: 21 days, 20 minutes a day, guided and free in my e mail. I like them. A new one started today. If interested in joining me you can register for it today, or anytime during the next four days, free and not miss a one.

This one is titled: “Shedding the Weight: Mind, Body & Spirit” and if interested simply click HERE

So whatever I’m carrying from unnecessary stress to extra poundage, I hope to learn a healthier way of releasing it and letting go.

 

Homeless LGBT youth

Many LGBT youth from all walks of life find themselves rejected by their families. Some end up homeless just because they are different from what their families believe they should be. Many of those homeless youth end up on the streets of large cities.

The Ali Forney Center in New York feeds, houses, counsels and mentors youth from the streets of New York. Without the AFC many of these youth end up abused and lost in situations that most of us wouldn’t be able to even imagine.

Joe Jervis over at Joe.My.God posted earlier this evening that the Ali Forney Center has launched a capital campaign to buy a church on a prominent Harlem corner to house part of and expand its services. This church is particularly desirable to turn around the years of hate that have been spewed at the residents and youth of Harlem who just happen to be gay.

If helping homeless youth off the streets of New York and onto a path to a productive life as contributing members of an accepting society is something dear to your heart then click HERE to learn more. Yes …go ahead click HERE to make a donation. Click HERE to make a difference for someone who needs a hand up. Click HERE to send a message to a rejected youth that they are not rejected but accepted and loved. Click HERE and share on your blog or Facebook page to gain even more support from your circle.

Together we can trample hate from the past with love for tomorrow. Together we can do this. LET’S DO THIS!

We made our donation and would be honored for you to join us.

 

Living, blogging and commenting with compassion

Yes Virginia the video is 22 minutes long. Yes Virginia it is worth your time.

Growing up the awkward, overweight, effeminate nerd of a boy I was led to the obvious bullying so prevalent among confused insecure children. I’m just glad that I grew up before the Internet. As hard as it was to deal with the bullies, at least it stopped when I closed myself into the safety of my room with my homework done on paper and out of books.

This TED talk is given by someone who knows first hand what internet bullying can do to a young insecure woman. Her message is one we can all use to remind us about good etiquette, respect of others and our ability as individuals to do good in the world. We can uplift our brothers and sisters rather than tear them down. In uplifting each other we only improve humanity.

She is not someone that I would have picked out to give me a message of inspiration and self growth. After watching this I will always give her my time. She has taken lemons and is making lemonade. Through this TED talk she is sharing her lemonade and not selling it to make a buck. I tip my hat and give Fearsome a stroke in her honor. Thanks Monica, well done.

Every time we are online we have the ability to make good comments, uplift others and share some love. I challenge myself to make at least 5 positive and uplifting comments a day on others blogs daily for one week, no matter how busy I am. Who wants to join me?

Dream Big

I went to the movie theatre today. I treated Fearsome to a discounted matinee at 10:55 am. It’s a holiday week, that void between Xmas and New Years. I have to say it’s been a while since I went to a movie in a theatre.

First thing I noticed was there was no longer a ticket window. You just walk into a lobby and there are a couple guys standing there with iPads for those like me who are blissfully unaware that you are supposed to buy the ticket online before you arrive. They will help you buy a ticket which is now only $16.50 for a discounted matinee. The iPad they are holding only takes credit cards, no cash welcome any longer. The iPad also assigns you a seat. Assigned seating at a cinema was a definite first for me.

After paying admission, I escorted Fearsome into the multiplex which I do have to admit is nicer than any I have ever before experienced. It had better been nice since the ticket buying process, assigned seating and admission price had me feeling every day of my age.

We went to see The Peanuts Movie. Snoopy has been my hero since I was a wee little lad and long before the puberty experience that gave me Fearsome. I can so relate to Charlie Brown. I do have to say that the movie is quite enjoyable. I laughed, smiled, danced in my seat and even shed a couple tears. I’m glad I took the time to see it on the big screen. It was a great experience to be a big kid in a theatre full of actual kids with their laughter and excitement.

Charlie Brown reminds me to dream, believe, hope and stay the course. Snoopy reminds me to keep a light heart, dance, laugh and never ever take things too seriously.

 

 

Inspired by Dad

As many of you know, my father passed unexpectedly sooner than expected back in September. He had a favorite movie starring Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt. Both big names in Hollywood. Both playing supporting roles to a kid. A kid named Haley Joel Osment. What is bigger than any star in the movie is the message. The message in the title, Pay It Forward (full movie behind this link).

My father was so inspired by the message, he did his best to share that message with everyone. Dad wasn’t perfect at getting messages across and he wasn’t perfect at always practicing the message. The important thing was he tried. Another important thing was he got the message through to me. When asked to speak at Dad’s memorial I instantly knew that I had to speak this message. It was easy. I didn’t need to write a speech or practice. I just got up and shared about sharing what we have, and not asking anything in return. Only ask to keep sharing it forward. To spread gifts, love, possibilities, knowledge and peace.

Yesterday I posted about my dog Abner. I shared about Paying It Forward. Today I share the clip of a little boy and his dream. May it be an inspiration to all of us.

Honored

Yesterday I was honored to be nominated for The Liebster Award.

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I am not too familiar with blog awards. I’ve seen them on other blogs. I wasn’t sure what they meant or how people got them. Was there a blogging committee? Were nominees submitted and then your blog was judged? Or was an award put out to a blogging world vote? Then does someone contact you to notify you if you won the award? Was there a ceremony? We’re there runners up awarded? And how about the most congenial blogger award if you didn’t place?

After an in depth, more like 5 minute, Google search I find out that the Liebster Award is a nomination. All a blogger must do is accept if they wish and it’s yours! Yeah an award! There are rules that are simply recommendations that get bloggers involved to visit each other and help us connect. Liebster is a word apparently of German origins that has several meanings a few of which are kind, valued, sweet, nice and beloved.

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I was nominated by Jacob over at -jaywalks. Thank you Jacob and I accept!

My nominees are as follows:

Itsmyhusband&I

icanhasgrace

There is another way to live

TheINFP

From my brain to my mouth

Larry Muffin at Home

Raybeard

Ok the rules say “up to eleven”. Well I’m not Spinal Tap so Mine doesn’t even go up to eleven. I didn’t choose these as a top seven either, so if your not on there don’t be upset plus if any of them accept they need others to nominate as well. Besides, seven rhymes with eleven and seven is said to be lucky!😉

The Questions:

  1. Which literary genre do you prefer? ….Biography and autobiography, especially the positive motivating ones.
  2. Which book do you know and love? ….Personal History, Katherine Graham
  3. Which book are you passionate about now? ….Find A Way, Diana Nyad
  4. Why did you start blogging?  ….To look deeper into myself as part of my personal growth, referenced through the growth of Fearsome.
  5. Order or Chaos? ….I find order through chaos. One must accept to grow. Our world is chaos yet order in one.
  6. Where would you like to live? ….Right here in San Diego. If I couldn’t live here San Fransisco, Seattle or Sydney in that order.
  7. Starry sky or sunset? ….Sunset
  8. Better the paper book or rather the e-book? ….Paper
  9. What is the writing for? Do you see it as a hobby or hoping for a future as a writer? ….The writing is for personal growth, betterment of myself. For now it’s a hobby, que sera sera whatever will be will be the futures not mine to see que sera sera. I feel one should never close their minds to possibilities.
  10. What do you think about social networks? ….They can be an asset, but like all things one should practice manners, respect, restraint and maintain etiquette. Sometimes (most times actually) less is more.

 

Iron Cowboy Does 50/50/50

On July 25, 2015 James Lawrence, AKA Iron Cowboy, completed his 50th Ironman in 50 days in 50 states.

An Ironman Triatholon consists of a 2.4 mile swim followed by a 112 mile bicycle ride completed with a 26.2 (full marathon) mile run…all in a row in one day. To officially be an “Ironman” these have to be completed in 17 hours or less.

Needless to say I ran into James Lawrence on the web searching for beards. He has one, as do his two wing men. I found him while he was in the process of completing numerous Ironmans working toward his goal. Last night I found this video by Rich Roll, AKA Vegan Ultraman, and was inspired. Not inspired to become an Ironman or an Ultraman, but inspired by the human spirit to work toward and complete a goal.

I take today to contemplate the human spirit. I challenge myself to pick out one thing I wish to improve in my life, to set a goal and take the first step toward that goal.

Have a Fearsome Saturday!