Bruised

Sucker punched.

Real Estate is a contact sport, even without physical contact. Today I got sucker punched right in the belly and it hurts.

Friends, whom I trusted almost more than most any of my other friends, to whom I’d sold them their home some 25 years ago called me about three years ago to sell said home. We met, discussed marketing and set up a time line for repairs, improvements and preparations to which a couple months later I got a call that selling the home would be postponed. When postponement time rolled around we again looked at needed repairs and improvements only to have that can kicked out another 6 months. Again we meet to look at it all only to postpone again, and again and again.

Three years later, which was last weekend, I received a message while traveling home from a much needed vacation urgently needing to meet to discuss selling the home. Last Monday I arrive and the painters are there working. They are actually going to sell it, finally after three years of postponements. We set out a schedule for finalizing the preparation, staging, photography and tomorrow we were supposed to meet to finalize price and paperwork.

Today I got an urgent text asking to meet at my office. My first thought was if they are postponing again, as history would have it, why so urgent to meet at office right now? I was available and we decided to meet in 10 minutes.

I arrive, they arrive and we sit down.

Then the least expected words were spoken, “We are going to list our home with another agent.” Gut meet fist, as said fist punches you. I was flabbergasted, speechless.

This is someone I considered a really close friend, someone I trusted emphatically and someone I’ve always deeply respected. This is a friend first, past client second who has referred multiple other people, including their own family members, over the years for whom I’ve always given exceptional service.

Then comes the second punch: “We know that you would give us exceptional service, utmost honest dealings and that you would have our best interest at heart, but we need someone who’s more enthusiastic. Also we want you to know it’s not that the other agent quoted a higher value as you both came in exactly at the same asking price and sales costs, we just need more enthusiasm .”

More enthusiasm? It’s been three years so please give me at least a few days to realize, and believe, you are actually going to sell.

As I walked them to the door of the office and closed the doors behind them the tears started streaming down my cheeks. Two of the people who’ve been two of the biggest cheerleaders in my career and two people whom I’ve always looked up to, trusted and admired didn’t even give me the chance to present what I could do, as the presentation was scheduled for tomorrow, and dismissed me after 3 years of postponements for an agent that they apparently were just introduced.

Am I really that bad at what I do?

My dear co-worker Rocky comforted me as I sobbed and helped me back to reality and encouraged me to at least plead my case to them by calling them to convey that no one other agent could better care and represent them with any more enthusiasm than I could because I did love and care for them and I really do have their best interest at heart.

I did call to no answer. I left a message.

After I left the office Rocky text me this beautiful statement of encouragement: “I hope she calls. She needs to remember what she loves about you. You absolutely are her best advocate and she needs to be reminded of your heart and your determination to do the very best for her that anyone would be capable of doing. Anybody can be enthusiastic but you can’t fake genuine care.”

Thank you Rocky. I treasure your words. I really do have my client’s best interest at heart. So therefore I’m pretty damn good at what I do.

But damn it hurts.

20 thoughts on “Bruised

  1. {{{{{hugs}}}}} bobdammit!

    enthusiasm? what do they want you to do, dance naked on the roof screaming “BUY THIS HOUSE!”? I’d like to smack these idiots upside the head with a 2×4 for being so rude! watch them postpone selling again.

    and yes, you are DAMN GOOD at what you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be the top agent of san diego! pet the puppies, kiss your better half, and know that many many people love you just as you are!

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about this. As a fellow realtor, I understand all to well how much time and energy we put into our work, which is often misunderstood and undervalued. Hang in there, my friend!

  3. SHOULD you ever (want to) talk to them again, I certainly would ask for an example of what they perceive as your lack of enthusiasm. I’d be more surprised if they ever do return your message. And as I’ve found out in the last decade, 20+ years of friendship mean almost nothing to some people. It is demoralizing and dehumanizing and you deserve better. That doesn’t make you feel good now, I get that, but someday, you’ll realize this has nothing to do with you.

  4. (((hugs)))

    That is so wrong. It almost makes me want to toss a large pepperoni pizza on their roof. I know Domino’s still has a large two topping sale for $5.99 tonight.

    You deserve so much better than this. 😦

  5. Ouch, you have every right to be hurt, being stabbed in the back stinks. You are stronger than this, don’t let it make you doubt yourself.

  6. Being in a service profession like yourself, I know what it’s like to do a lot for someone only to be told I was a no good failure. We tend to feel the sting of these rather than see the vast majority who know and appreciate our worth.
    I am glad to see you are surround by Love here in the comments reminding you how marvelous you are.

  7. I would have to bet that your “enthusiasm” or lack thereof was not the real reason they made the decision they did. Who knows what it might have been? I had a similar thing happen with a very close relative. I’d worked with them before with great success, then received a call one day letting me know I could “help” them stage their home for sale (which is one of my specialties). Turns out, they had seen a house they liked and instead of using me, called a friend of a friend to not only buy the new house but also sell the old one. And this was at a time when I could have really used the work. I got off the phone speechless but then sent an email asking to at least get the listing for the current luck. No dice. Needless to say, we don’t have a relationship anymore. So sorry you’re having to deal with this betrayal of your friendship.

    • Yeah I feel as I’ve been used as a free consultant for three years meeting to give advice on which projects will bring them the most return with the implication, in fact a verbal promise, that I’d be listing it.
      Thanks for sharing your story. Losing a listing isn’t new, it’s when good friends/family or people we trust turn on us that hurts the most.

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