I came to a realization the other day. While driving I saw two bearish men walking down the street conversing, smiling and holding hands. My realization? I’ve never been one to hold hands.
I just have never been one for public displays of affection. I don’t know if it is some of the baggage I carry from growing up gay in the 1970s & 80s, being out but yet hiding that intimate part of me. Or if it is something from my childhood.
My family wasn’t the touchy type. I don’t really remember my parents holding hands, nor do I remember them holding mine. Was it a lack of this intimacy at the early stages that makes it foreign to me?
Dating the few girls I did in high school, I remember being uncomfortable when they reached out to hold hands. The dudes I dated in high school?….holding hands with them wasn’t an option, not in 1980. In 1980 it was more like date the girls, do what you could with them and then sneak off with one of the dudes to finish the job. If you know what I’m getting at.
Whatever it is, it doesn’t really matter. I need to get over it. I don’t think I will ever be one that skips around town holding my husband’s hand. I should hold his hand on occasion though. Holding hands is intimate. It is a nice way to show affection.