Fearsome, he’s big…really big but,

Is he out of control?

We, Fearsome and myself, have some decisions to make. The decisions have to do with the size of Fearsome and work image. Also career, am I really in the right one?

I sell Real Estate. Mostly high end Real Estate in one of the more expensive markets in the country. I am in California so the image is, Thank God, not what one must keep in other cities. We are more relaxed here, but only so relaxed. I have been pulled aside by a very close colleague (a dear, trusted friend) and have been asked to give Fearsome a healthy trim. I, and he, are not upset by this as he is VERY large for beards presently.

Large beards on powerful men have not been common place since the late 1800s and very early 1900s. With the changing times and advent of the industrial revolution bringing us Gillete and mass marketing, big beards went out of vogue and stayed that way until very recently. It wasn’t until about 15 years ago that even a short cropped beard was accepted into the corporate world and in many cases still isn’t. Big beards were only acceptable on artists or Rebels until the past 2-3 years they have been creeping into a more mainstream acceptance as time passes.

We believe in another 3-5 years big beards will become more accepted and show up on more and more powerful men. That’s in the future and we are here together today. We must face it, Fearsome and myself are ahead of our time.

We do not have to make our final decision for a couple weeks. So we are not feeling pressure and we wish to contemplate and to work together for an amicable decision that works for us. We, Fearsome and myself, are a team not matter what size he is.

One thing I realized yesterday is the growth I have experienced in myself of recent. Huge growth. There was a time, even very recently, that a conversation like I had yesterday with my dear colleague, I would have taken personally and been very hurt. I would have reacted and most likely not in the best manner. I realized that we had a conversation, I understood what my friend was saying and I didn’t take it personally. I took it as a consideration well worth considering. That’s growth, huge growth for me. As I stated in the beginning of this here blog thingy, this is a place where I can grow as Fearsome grows and I have. I also noted at one point that beards sometimes need trimming to strengthen, as do we. So the time has come to look deep inside and consider the trim to strengthen both myself and him as well.

Our considerations will be this:

1) Trim Fearsome and move on in the current direction.

2) Leave Fearsome alone and maybe strike out on my own in the current career.

3) Asses my life, goals, talents, wants and ambitions and see if maybe a change in careers is what I need.

These are important considerations. Ones that I must not take lightly. I deeply love Fearsome and had planned to continue growing, even go to Comic-Con as Dumbledore this year. Fearsome did remind me that he grows and grows and grows even when I trim him. He reassured me that if I trimmed him and couldn’t live with myself for it, that he would happily grow back.

So let’s see what our final decisions will be… Number 1 is probably the choice we will make, but we have time and we will contemplate. Our soul is only growing deeper and stronger as we do.



8 thoughts on “Fearsome, he’s big…really big but,

  1. I like the #1 thought also. but fearsome is not mine; he is yours. you will make the correct decision for yourself AND fearsome.

    and congrats for having the wisdom and maturity to accept your co-worker’s kind (not nasty) suggestion in a rational manner.

  2. True growth is understanding who you are, and what that means in this world. Being the best YOU is the you which is true, and that takes time, growth and maturing…you have that as a mantra very much akin to mine. There is risk in growth, but there is risk in not growing, remaining in the status quo. As one for many years full bearded until the challenge to ‘go terminal’ in early 2013, the growth has done immense good in expanding my mind and horizons, and solidified why I became a Beard Advocate 27 years ago when men were subservient to the razor – not by desire, but by dictate.

    Thankfully you have safe breathing room here if #1 is the choice. You and I (in broadcasting 38 years) come from professions less accepting than most others, and for the trends they create, they often come around very late to the game. We have been vanguards of true manhood in our respective places and have the respect of others for being true to self and our life’s missions. Adjustments happen, but inside we are breaking through for self and others to finally, if not permanently, break the cycle of discrimination for every bearded male. It has been a tough, long journey but today there has been more joy and sense of accomplishment when men grow and say no to the whims and desires of others who cannot understand that acceptance is right and the requests for altercation out of line. You dear friend are not grotesque, nor unkempt, nor unacceptable to myself, clients and others. I pray people pay particular praise in all your business about the beard and get their corporate heads out of their proverbial posteriors…it will help clear the minds of crappy attitude.

  3. In the eighties I was working in telecom sales. I had a very fashionable hairstyle that included platinum highlights. After a few months I changed to a more conservative style. My VP thanked me for changing my hairstyle one morning in the elevator ride up to the office. I was so shocked I was left speechless.

    I think I would go with number 1 but I’m the one who sold his soul to a corporation for a paycheck.

  4. I am afraid to advise for fear of giving the wrong advice. I am a total pogonophile, and my views are definitely biased. I do think your big beard looks great, and enhances your already fine looks. I have never seen you in a situation where you looked unkempt or unclean. If I was in the market for real estate, I would be more apt to buy from a gent with a huge friendly beard, than a shifty-eyed corporate executive type with no facial hair. No matter what you decide, I will always be honored to count you among my friends. Ultimately, a man has to do what a man has to do…even if it rubs us the wrong way at times. The last 5 years, before I retired, I fought with management constantly over my beard and my inability to be a shave-face. I axed mine to an inch long all over several times just to get them to shut up. They still growled because I didn’t fit their little corporate cookie cutter idea. So when I had enough years to do so without ‘cutting my own throat,’ I retired! It is true my situation was different than yours…I worked on the backside of things as part of the supply chain, and never had dealings with customers. But various people who worked jobs at the plant from time to time identified me as the guy to see when they needed parts or supplies. I was “the Sasquatch with the big beard” to them. They knew I would get things done and help them.
    One question lingers…forgive me…so after you hack off your beard, what next? What else are they going to demand that you change to suit their image. (I can only go on my past experiences, but seems someone was always needling me for more. Like the old saying, “Give then an inch and they’ll take a mile”)
    Whatever your choices, I will always be in your corner!

  5. 3
    because it is scary, because it will give you more even if it will have devastating effects.
    just because you are facing Hecate and the hard path is the only one you won’t regret.
    because I have face her and never look back

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