We have 3 of them.

Being a gay couple together for many years now we have 3 anniversaries.

The day we met 24 years ago it was instant. April 1990. We started a long distance relationship as I lived in Virginia and he in Seattle. After six months of that it was move or part. We definitely did not want to part so I moved to Seattle October 1990. We always have celebrated the April date because we felt we connected immediately.

Then there’s the wedding date. July 9, 2008. Yes 6 years ago today we married legally in California before prop 8 passed. Prop 8 did not invalidate our marriage but only prevented same sex couples from marrying after it’s passage. Those that were married stayed married in the eyes of the state of California.

We had been together 18 years at that point and did not think that marriage would change our relationship. It did. Marriage made us stronger. Our families really got into it, suddenly our siblings were really, legally in laws. We were legally family. It made a difference. We were legally bound and could make decisions for the other if needed. It was actually reaffirming. Strange but true.

We were married at the county administration office by a clerk with both straight and gay couples watching and all were supportive. We saw straight couples marry right there with us and were witnesses for our close friends John & Tim. We were the same. I hope those couples are as happy and secure as we are.

Afterwards we called friends from the car (we had not told anyone but the restaurant we were going to) and told friends one by one we had just married and that we were going to be at Paesano’s on 30 th st and if they could stop by for pizza beer and wine it was on us. Sixty people showed up with a moments notice to celebrate. It was a perfect day. We then called our families as most are out of town and shared the news. The love and joy that surrounded us I will never forget and will always be grateful for.

We still celebrate April 29 as our anniversary, but we don’t forget July 9 and celebrate it too.

So happy anniversary to my Fearsome Better Half!




8 thoughts on “Anniversaries

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